Read this in Spanish
they spoke to me of hell
before her casket
the white roses listened
in life no one would have dared
abuela would have insulted them
with a thick sigh
she protected me
they were too scared of her
and she, my only faith
my best friend covered my chest
her flesh-and-blood x
a queer shield
lessened the shock
of my paralyzed throat
no activism
could save me from the blow
it takes a coward
it takes a coward, Alex
it takes a coward
I wanted to mourn
and they, to snag me back
kiss me on any given Sunday
call me little sister
touch my shoulders
knock me to the ground
“Purify me”
I take no interest
in purity’s curse
“Save me”
salvation is a pamphlet
I’ll spit on their pulpits
while I still have living
flesh
pain is a tunnel
I’ll never escape
if I forget the rage
of every kiss in the dark
soundless grimace
I escaped but sometimes it finds me
it shows up at my abuela’s funeral
sits beside me
doesn’t care about my sore
feeds it
and the pastors stare
from their cults
their services
I run without knees
seeking pain I need
to forget the blood
baptized in glitter
I release an orgasm
the Church flooded the funeral home
my friends brought me buckets
and thanks to them, the dirty waters
don’t touch my feet