Hannah Fischer, author of “The Elephant’s Tiptoe” from Volume 71.2, shares her secrets on how to intertwine deeply personal family dynamics with humor as well as a few fun facts about herself. Fischer discusses her experience processing her father’s death, her career as a writer, and her unforgettable, spiritual experiences on safari in Botswana.
“Elephants have lovely eyelashes, as luxurious as a drag queen’s or the fringe of a funeral umbrella in a New Orleans parade. His eyes were a weak, brown color. They reminded me a little of my father’s—he had had peculiar hazel eyes that could flash almost yellow when he was angry.”—from “The Elephant’s Tiptoe”
On Humor:
I was wondering how you maintain sincerity while incorporating humor and how you strike an acceptable balance as you write about such deeply personal topics like your father’s death?
Hannah: “For me, humor is a space to play, it’s like when you’re cooking and you add sugar to balance out the bitter flavors. Humor gives me the ability to supersaturate my writing, and I think sometimes I need the extra space to really absorb what has happened.”
On Commemorating her Father:
Why do you think that your “Dad would have hated this?”
Hannah: “This felt to me like a moment where I definitely took a risk, and re-reading it is still uncomfortable, calling myself and my mom bitches. But it was kind of true. We were going through this process completely unconsciously where we thought we were grieving, but we were also distancing ourselves from dad. We were doing something that he really would have hated and something that we probably could not have done if he was alive. There’s something kind of horrible about that and the tension of grieving someone and having to move on.”
On her Inspiration as baggage:
Was the initial inspiration of this piece to deliberate on your father’s death or was it motivated by you and your mother’s travels in Africa?
Hannah: “I knew I wanted to write about grief and there was something particular in throwing my mom in the back of that plane. There’s a picture of her on top of the luggage in this tiny plane, while they were clearing the animals off the runway…and I just knew there was something there in how we came with a lot of baggage and just the heaviness we brought along with us.”
On her Career as a Writer:
Did you always want to be a writer or is this a new interest of yours?
Hannah: “I always knew that I wanted to write. When I was a teenager and in college, I wrote a lot of poetry, and then I got to the place where I knew what sounded good and how to write poems with good noises.”
“We were alone, our grief and our anger like a ripe melon, split by its fall from a shaken tree, the central hollow and seeds our shared meal.”
On Finding her Voice:
Hannah: “…But I just didn’t know enough, and I had a lot to explore inside myself. I wasn’t very honest with myself at the time, so I wasn’t able to write very well. At the start of my career as a librarian, I got accepted to Bread Loaf, and they basically told me (politely), “you are writing bad poetry” and asked, “where are you in this poem?” So, I didn’t write for a long time. Then my dad died, and I went on these safaris and I started writing prose and now I feel like I know a little bit more about who I am.”
Do you feel like in order to write a coherent piece you have to know who you are and own a confident voice?
Hannah: “Yes, absolutely! Also, I don’t think there’s a particular age where that happens. For me, it’s clearly my mid-forties, some people are quicker and for some people it’s in their sixties or even later. But yeah, that’s what I needed.”
On her Writing Practices:
When you’re writing an emotional or difficult piece, how do you set the mood?
Hannah: “I write on a weekly basis. I’m always thinking about writing and what my next piece is. I am always writing in my notes app. On Friday or Saturday is when I sit down and put everything together and have it congeal.”
Do you see writing as a kind of spiritual or therapeutic practice?
Hannah: “I absolutely notice that if I’m not writing regularly, I am not okay. So, that is very important to me.”
Fun Facts:
1. What makes you smile the most? “Many things: animals, chocolate, the people I love, and this blanket my friend crocheted for me.”
2. What is one thing you can’t live without? “I’ve been carrying around this book, it’s a little book that I slip into my pocket or the bag that I’m carrying: The Dharma of Poetry.”
3. How do you define yourself in three words? “Creative. Messy. Insightful.”
4. What is your guilty pleasure? “Oh, I have so many. This isn’t so guilty, but I have this odd obsession with The Good Place.”
5. What animal do you associate yourself with? “A leopard or the lilac-breasted roller.”
6. What is your favorite childhood book? “There’s so many, but I’m looking over at my bookshelf and seeing The Phantom Tollbooth, so I’m gonna go with that.”
7. When are you most inspired? “When I am with other writers.”
8. What is your dream adventure? “There’s a million of them! Every time I go back, my safaris get more intense. So, I would love to do a walking safari in Zambia.”
9. What advice would you give to those wanting to pursue a career in writing? “Try to be as honest with yourself as you can be, and the writing will follow from that.”