< the daughters / on sally jessy / were occupation
babies / half korean / half german // nobody
said rape in the ’80s // the daughters / broke through
dead mothers / & were drop-dead
gorgeous / lashes
/ heavy like palm fronds /
feathered bangs / over doe
eyes // man-eaters // they could
kill / anything //
they killed /
my mother // every time
the audience would clap us
into commercial breaks
& the fathers whispered / so beautiful
into jeweled / ears /
mama’s body would bolt
to curl on the bathroom floor //
we wrapped our gritty
arms / around her
stove-sweated back / our breaths
tart with breakfast / on her neck
she would let us / hold her
then / pull quickly / away //
my first taste
of longing / vicarious /
ache of maple / in the mouth //
sometimes you need
to be loved
/ by what you’re not
obligated /
to feed //
when she bought the first car that could
get us farther than pines road /
we drove to deberry / texas // though we’d never
been / she knew the way // pulled up
blew the horn / like her friend / janie /
backing out of our driveway //
as a kid i thought horns meant /
i have not forgotten
the way / you made me
feel / i will come back
for it / soon //
inside /
someone said / he out back / should be in
/ in just a few / we waited
in my mother’s father’s
house / it seemed / like hours / staring
at wood / paneled walls / that ran
from the kitchen to closed-off
parts / each / room / silently / spoken
for / with scuttling feet / my first look
at scansion
/ finally /
my mama got up / my sister
followed / her eyes blinking
with oil sheen / dripping from her
bangs / my lenses blackening
with sunlight // mama’s church shoes
sinking into the stubbly / loam
what a ragtag bunch we must
have been / since love wasn’t
/ the one / looking // we found him
crouching behind the / toolshed
he grinned / stretching / his grizzled
upper lip / an inside joke / only he
& my mama knew // she smiled // they talked
a little while / old / friends //
when we crossed
the state line / she
didn’t blow / just said /
I won’t be bothering him
again //
sally jessy / still blared
fathers still misfired
embraces / flowers / apologies /
whispering beautiful /
one last time
into frosted hair //
/ the daughters
still cried //
my / mama
too // sometimes
the men //
i don’t know
why /
they ever / thought /
the knives
they carried / the game
they felled / the stories
/ all cock / and bull /
could ever cleanly hollow
/ bleeding / things / >