I remember asking to go the hospital It was Easter and we were dressed up We were stuffed and tired from driving I leaned over the banister to ask It’s menstrual cramps she said as if to herself My mother did not share what proof I lacked Sickness was repulsive to her I let my appendix burst inside I remember begging the gentle wall for relief That was prayer I was not menstruating and never had not once declared an absence in my body My mother did not say what food we lacked But she fed us nevertheless with food from the state and WIC The slab of bright orange cheese A box of 100 cracker samples I remember how the flour melted on my tongue I ate alone to hide the need to eat That was prayer At customs my Nana did not declare her grief from war Her brother with the broken neck left behind in her girlhood Limousin She never told us if he lived I spied a prayer taped above her bed Make me an instrument Welfare in those days knocked on the door at night to be sure no man was in the house My mother had to declare she was alone And offer up a proof of need Like a prayer But it was not prayer